


Father Figure

by skeleton_high



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Slow Burn, but not that slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-12 04:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17460884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeleton_high/pseuds/skeleton_high
Summary: Joe recalls telling Ben one night at some party, drunk as hell and almost on the verge of tears, how he wished to meet John at least once in his life time.“I just feel I can learn so much from him!” he yelled at Ben that time “now that the movie is over I know I won't meet him ever...”No. He isn't going to meet him. Never.Yet, here he is looking directly to John Deacon himself and having him stare right back.The one where Joe falls in love with someone he shouldn't have to.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you know or are the people that star in this fanFICTION (let me put FICTION in caps) please don't read any further. This is only a writing excercise I do for fun and only fun. Please don't share this to the people who appear in this fanFICTION or anyone who is related/has a relation to them. Having said that, if you enjoy it please share it with your friends (as long as your friends aren't QUEEN or the borhap boys!!)

 

Joe stands on the doorway as nervous as he can be. He looks around, looking at nothing in particular and fidgets with his hands on his pockets, not really knowing what to do. He hears steps inside, something moving and a lock unlocking. These are the longest and slowest seconds he has ever experienced. When the door opens, only one word comes to his mind.

  


_‘Fuck’_

  


It all goes back to being casted in the movie, Joe thinks. He’s always known John Deacon, well, not known _known_ , but he has seen enough videos and heard enough songs through the years to make himself a mental picture of the bassist. Queen has been definitely in Joe’s life through the years.

Now, being cast as John only makes him dig deeper into Queen’s world, specifically into John Deacon’s life. He surely finds him interesting, but there's something about him now, now that he's reading, watching and hearing all about him that makes him excited and frenetic, and he can't help but feel as a teen crushing hard on their favorite rockstar.

When he's preparing for the role, he often meets with Roger and Brian, but there's only so much they can help him with. Yes, there are other people helping him do the research and become John Deacon, but seeing Gwil and Ben learn from them makes him feel jealous. He hasn't dared to ask if he could actually meet John, since he's been told from day one Mr Deacon doesn't want anything to do with the project, but he's always had the hopes to meet the man himself. He accepts it and moves on. After all, he's not going to insist for something that isn't going to happen.

The movie turns out to be great, of course. Not only the movie, but the whole experience itself warms Joe in an unexpected way. He's known Rami the longest, but by the end of filming he finds himself with a small family. Gwil and Ben turn out to be great friends, and when Joe stops to think about all the amazing things Queen has brought to his life, he feels grateful.

And he would think the stupid crush would go away by the time the movie is released, but he finds himself staring at random pictures of the man at 3 am on the internet the day after the premiere.

“ _You really are him”_

He's heard that a million times. The first times he's tried to deny it, but as time goes on and he's casted, he's learned to ignore it and just nod and smile. And everytime he has hated it. In Joe's opinion, John and him couldn't be more different. He knows he will never know John, despite all the research he's done and all the coaches he's had to help him be the closest to John Deacon, but what he knows for a fact is that that man isn't even close to him.

He recalls telling Ben one night at some party, drunk as hell and almost on the verge of tears, of the envy he had at the beginning of everything and how he wished to meet John at least once in his lifetime.

“I just feel I can learn so much from him!” he yelled at Ben that time “now that the movie is over I know I won't meet him ever...”

No. He isn't going to meet him. Never.

Yet, here he is looking directly to John Deacon himself and having him stare right back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @mrdrugzzz hit me up people I want to talk about Joe/John more
> 
> hope you enjoy the angst hahaha

For a moment he thinks he's dreaming. The face he's seen a million times is staring at him. He always thought that meeting John would render his crush down. It doesn't. He finds himself admiring blankly at the other. He knows the face, but somehow he feels as if he's meeting someone else, and he finds his heart beating even faster than when he rang the bell.

“Hello. Im John Deacon. You must be Joe, right?”

_ 'John Deacon just said my name'  _ repeats over and over again inside Joe's mind. He cannot process all of this. John Deacon just said his name. And his voice is just as sweet as Joe thought it would be. Joe notices lots of things that have changed in John, but his voice isn't one. His hair has, Joe notices, now a shade of silver he finds just charming. His face looks older too, but the same eyes stare back at him. For a moment he just look at him in awe, not really believing what's in front of him.

“Well, are you?” asks John, raising an eyebrow at him. Joe snaps out of it immediately and begins babbering words, making himself more of an idiot in front of a legend.

“Yes! Yes. I'm sorry, I'm just so exc- happy to meet you. Finally!”

John changes his expression from slightly annoyed to amused and offers his hand to Joe. And as he always thought, it feels amazing, John's hand is the perfect size and grips his hand the way Joe always imagined he would, but it's over sooner than Joe'd like to.

“Would you like to come in?” says John kindly, taking a step back and gesturing the inside of the house.

“Of course, my pleasure!”

He cringes right after the words come out of his mouth. He cannot feel more stupid, and the low chuckle coming from John confirms his idiocy.  _ 'My pleasure? What the fuck was that?'  _ he thinks as he follows John inside his house. A moment after the thoughts vanish, as he's left with awe admiring the interior of John's house. It's not as big as Brian's and Roger's houses, not even as big as Rami's house, since he can see all the rooms only from stepping on the doorway, but the feeling that gives is too much for Joe. He can feel John all around him, and for the first time, it's overwhelming.

It feels like a home, a real home, with the pictures and all. Joe looks around, not really processing what he sees, as he follows John through the house. He leads him to the living room and makes him sit on a rather comfortable armchair with two mugs waiting for them already. John seems to take his time, sipping on his tea slowly and looking at Joe with a stare he can't quite figure out the meaning. Joe think about what to say, but when nothing appropriate comes to his mind he gets even more nervous than before. He that of all people is the one that always has something to say, is speechless now.

“Brian and Roger told me about you” says John breaking the awkward silence while putting his mug down.

“All good things, I hope?” answers Joe jokingly, like the idiot he is.  _ 'Why do I answer so awkwardly?'  _ thinks to himself, headbutting his head in his mind. Somehow John laughs, and it shocks John that it doesn't feel fake.

“Yes, indeed. They told me you were very committed to the film”

“I like to think so. I pretty much had to be you” laughs Joe, finally having a subject he can talk about “But on a serious note, I really enjoyed all the process. You've had such and interesting life, I cannot imagine living half the things you've lived”

“Well, you're still young, what are you, in your late twenties? You still have a lot to experience, I'm sure you'll have many amazing stories by the time you're my age” chuckles John, sipping on his tea.

“I'm not that young. I'm thirty-five, so I should probably better begin...” laughs Joe half-heartedly.

“You don't look thirty-five at all” says John, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

Joe's heart skips a beat at the compliment and can feel his face blush.

“You're too kind” says Joe, finally relaxing. John seems pleased, so his next words just roll out of his mouth without any kind of filter “And you don't look so bad either, I have to say my jaw dropped when I saw you back there, I never thought you'd be as-”

“You don't need to compliment me” cuts him John, dryly. His kind face has changed into a deadly glare, one that goes right through Joe's soul. He feels his heart shrink and the words die in his mouth. He has never been more mortified and embarrassed of something that has come from his mouth. He has never hated his verborrhea more than he does now.

The room goes awfully silent after that, and Joe wants to hide in a corner and die. The way John looks at him with pure disgust makes him shiver. He feels his shoulders shrinking and he lowers his head, not able to look at John at the eyes.

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to-” he mutters with a voice so little John almost can't hear him. He can't bring himself to finish the sentence “I wasn't...”

John sighs and Joe hears him moving around the room. He's still looking at the floor, frozen. He doesn't dare to move, but when he feels a hand in his shoulder he instantly shivers and looks up. John stands besides him.

“I signed this for you, since Brian and Roger told me you're a fan” says, handing Joe a  _ A day at the races  _ album. It takes a minute for Joe to react, but he quickly swallow his tears and takes the album John offers “May I help you with something else?”

Something inside Joe must be wrong, because the second he understand John's words he feels his heart breaking a little. That's his cue to leave. He grips the album tightly making his knuckles white.

“I'm so sorry for wasting your time Mr Deacon” he says, as carefully as he can while he stands up “I'm really thankful for this gift. I appreciate you having me over immensely”

John nods and takes a step back. Joe has a feeling he won't be seeing John ever again. And it's all his fault.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey who's up to be in a joe/john chatroom I'm planning on creating one! @mrdrugzzz on tumblr


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @mrdrugzzz on tumblr, talk to me I'm a lonely bee :( 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!!! I'm writing more and plan on uploading Sundays and Fridays for now, so hold on to that!

He's imagined meeting John before many times, and a lot of scenarios do go wrong inside his head (mainly because of his deep down hidden insecurities) but he's never, ever, imagined fucking everything up within first 10 minutes.

“I'll walk you to the door” says John, as the gentleman he is, and starts heading to the entrance. Joe follows him closely, trying to memorize every little thing he can, even if he doesn't deserve it. When John opens the door and gestures him to the exit, Joe really wants to die, right there.

“I'm really sorry about before sir. I really didn't mea-”

“Don't apologize, I know you're sorry” cuts him John like before, dryly and without any kind of emotion “I hope you enjoy the record”

The door almost closes in his face, and that's when the first tear starts falling, mainly out of frustration. He doesn't move for some minutes, but when he does he feels his weak on his knees. He can tell his eyes are red from crying, and on top of that he doesn't really remember where he parked. So when he steps shakingly out of John's porch he doesn't expect to trip over a bump and fall hard onto the floor. He lands on his knees and hands, and after the initial shock and confusion he feels a pain sharp and bold on the palm of his hands, that have scratched opened after slipping on the rocky concrete pathway.

“Fuck!” he yells loudly in pain, rolling to sit on his rear. He can't stop the tears now, and when he tries to dry them he ends up smearing blood all over his face. For a moment he just sits there, crying and laying on the floor, right in front of John Deacon's fucking house. As he tries to get up on his feet the door opens, and he falls again from the surprise, this time landing on his ass.

“Are you okay Joe?” he hears, and he can only shake his head. A hand, that he can only assume is John's, lifts him up and pushes him inside once again. He can barely see through the tears and his legs buckle like hell, but John's grip is firm on his shoulders and doesn't let go.

“Let's get you inside boy” says John, almost dragging Joe to the living room and sitting him on the same spot he was minutes before. John leaves him there, and though he can hear him stepping around the house, he feels really confused and nervous. His heart is now racing, in a way he cannot control and for a moment he feels pure panic.

When John returns to the room and sits on a plastic stool with a medical aid kit in his hands, Joe's stopped crying, but is shaking softly, mainly because of the nervousness. He jumps a bit when he feels a soft and wet cloth in his face, but leans into the touch immediately. The fabric is warm and when he opens his eyes again John is looking at him in a way he cannot describe. It looks like he's examining him thoroughly, and Joe can't feel more overwhelmed. His hands still burns horribly and when he looks down he wishes he hadn't. There are scratches all over his hands and knees. It's scary how he almost doesn't feel them anymore.

“What the bloody hell happened to you lad?” asks John while he cleans his face with the soft cloth. Joe wants to speak up, but the words get caught in his throat, and he only lets out a cringy choking noise. John smirks but the concerned look doesn't wash off his face.

“Take it easy and breathe, you need to calm down” tells him, softer this time. Joe tries to listen and takes a deep breath. John's hands are on his own now, caressing him slowly as he checks the damage.

“You really made yourself a mess, but you'll be fine I think. How did you get these scratches anyway? They look awfully painful”

“I fell on the rocks of your pathway” says Joe, finally managing to let the words out. He can't feel more stupid as he feels right now, but somehow it wouldn't surprise him to fuck up thrice in a row.

John takes out a bottle of alcohol from the aid kit and he pours it with a cloth on Joe's hands. The pain Joe feels is incomparable as the pain he felt before, but he bites his tongue and shuts it in, not wanting to bother John even further. The older man looks at him strangely while takes out some bandages.

“Did that not hurt?”

_ 'No, I just have an awesome pain tolerance'  _ it's what Joe wants to yell, but he keeps his mouth shut once more, knowing his usual sarcasm isn't really welcomed now.

“I don't want to bother you more” ends up saying, still wanting to be polite, even if all he really wants to do is to curse his heart out.

John looks up from his hand and stares at him for a moment before starting to wrap his hands on the bandages again.

“I'm so stupid...” mutters Joe to himself looking intently into the wall and trying to ignore the feeling that John's hands cause on him. His palms don't hurt as much as before and he's already stopped crying. A deep shame settles inside him instead.

“I'm sure that's not true” says John, putting everything back into the aid kit. Joe puffs and shakes his head once again. He leans back into the sofa and covers his eyes with his arm. Nothing he can say now will make it worse. John's already seen how much of an idiot he is, he might as well show him all of it.

“It is though” says, louder this time “I always ruin everything with my big mouth. Everytime I'm nervous I fuck it up saying things that I shouldn't. It happened when I met Brian and Roger too. They only tolerate me because of the film, I swear if it hadn't been for that they wouldn't have even bothered to get to know me. I don't deserve being here”

All of the anxiety, nervousness and every single thought comes pouring out of Joe, and he can't stop it soon enough.

“Can you stand up now?” asks John, standing up himself. Joe takes the arm out of his face and stands up too, knees hurting, but he knows that's his cue to leave.

“Thanks for taking care of me” says Joe, turning to the door. John nods and turns around, beginning to search for something on the library behind him.

“Do you want to see something?”

Joe's almost leaving the living room when he hears that. He turns hesitantly and sees John fiddle with something in the other end of the room. Finally, he turns to Joe with a key in his hands and for a moment another awkward silence fills the space.

“Do you?” asks again John raising an eyebrow. Joe realizes he has to answer and jumps a bit when he hears John's voice.

“I don't want to bother you mo-”

“Come with me” cuts him John walking to the other side of the living room. Joe follows him closely and waits by his side as he unlocks a door that seem to lead to some stairs to a basement.

“I kept this when I moved here, and when Brian and Roger told me about you I thought you'd like to see it, since you played me in the film” tells him John while they go down the stairs.

The basement is rather small, but lovely. The minute they step on the basement Joe feels warm and cosy. There's a big mattress on the floor, like a giant futon with baby blue covers, and lots of sofas and wooden shelves with books and CDs in them. He notices a vinyl and CD player with big speakers, that doesn't really surprises him, but it does the big closet on built-in the wall. It looks almost as if someone lives there, if it wasn't for the lack of things the room has. The floor is made of wooden and the walls feel somehow expensive. Joe doesn't know what John is talking about at first, being too busy looking at every inch of the room, but when his eyes fall on a bass guitar sitting on a marble pedestal, his heart stops.

“Oh my God” it's the only he can say, pinned to a spot of the room, unable to move further to the instrument. John's already by its side, grabbing it and sitting on a sofa.

“Come here lad”

Joe's legs tremble again, but he sucks it in and goes to John with confidence. If he's showing him his bass guitar it must mean his opinion on Joe must have changed somehow, and Joe isn't going to miss his chance to be forgiven for his big mouth.

He sits by John's side, on the other end of the couch, trying to put some distance between them. He feels too overwhelmed just watching him hold the bass and fiddle with the strings.

“You had to learn to play this for the film, is that right?”

“Yes, I mean, the basics, I'm not even close to your level” chuckles Joe softly, amazed by how familiarly John fingers touch the bass. He isn't really playing anything, but there's something about how he holds it that says it all.

“I would ask if you wanted to play it for a bit, but I don't think it's a good idea, your hands will take some time to heal completely”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was just too... to notice where I was walking”

John puts the bass aside and looks at Joe.

“You don't have to apologize for that. But I have to. It wasn't right of me to kick you out so early. You have to understand I don't usually meet with fans and I've had some bad situations in the past. You just reminded me of something before”

“No, you had all the right to be mad. I wasn't thinking. When I get too nervous I do weird things and it's normal I made you uncomfortable”

John smiles and shakes his head.

“You were nervous to see me?”

“Well, yes and no. I was nervous about what you'd think of me, since I didn't really know what you thought of the movie. That and because ever since the movie I've always looked up to you, and you know what they say, that people you admire change when you meet them. All that mixed and I screw up” says Joe, deciding to be honest to John.

“I haven't seen the movie yet but-”

Joe lets out a sigh he doesn't know he had inside him. John hasn't seen the movie. He hasn't seen Joe acting as John.

“Does it make you happy?” asks John, amused by Joe's reaction. Joe can't help but laugh too, and he finally feels confident enough to talk to John normally. As he always should've.

“It does. A lot. You cannot imagine how glad I am. I mean, I came here thinking you'd only see me as the guy who plays you on the Borhap movie, and now you tell me you haven't even seen it! If it weren't for my big mouth we would've gotten along perfectly!”

John laughs at that and smiles. He looks at him strangely, but in a manner Joe can only interpret as good. For a moment everything is alright again.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :OOOOO
> 
> Tell me if you like it, the more comments the faster I write!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for uploading so late! Next Sunday I will surely upload.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

  
  


John doesn't seem to mind how much he's talking this time. Joe's now feeling much more confident than before, and that's saying a lot. The knowledge that John hasn't seen the movie is relieving too, almost as if he doesn't have to prove to John that's he isn't just a cheap copy of him anymore.

“And you say you took that cardboard to Japan?”

“No, it was already there, but I did keep it. It's on my living room as we speak”

John chuckles and shakes his head amused. They've been talking for while now and Joe's already told John about Rami, Gwil and Ben, all the stories they have together and all the funny things they've lived while filming. John is quite the talker once the awkwardness has been lifted and the mood changed. He asks a lot about the cast and how they got together and learned to play the instruments (or mock play them in most occasions anyway). Joe can't be possibly happier explaining all this to John, who listens carefully to everything he says.

“You are really something Joe” he says at one point, and Joe's heart skips a beat at his words.

“I know” he answers, making John laugh even more. They're still sitting on the couch, but closer now. After John's left the bass at its place, he sat inches closer to Joe, not much but enough for Joe to feel the closeness. He laughs too with John and for a moment there's a silence in the room. This one isn't as awkward as the other silences they've had, but John shifts a bit on the couch and Joe can tell he doesn't know what else to say.

“Does someone live here?” he asks taking the lead and trying to keep alive the conversation. John makes a confused face and tilts his head slightly.

“Well... I do”

“Oh, I meant the basement” Joe laughs gesturing with his hands around the room “It looks like a dream room, if I'm being honest”

“Ah... it's a guest room” says John, looking around “I don't think it's that good of a room if I'm being honest, I tried to do my best with it but I still feel as if it's missing something, so I don't really spend much time here”

“Well, I would happily live here” says Joe, amazed at how humble John is. The room _ is  _ amazing, and for a basement it feels like home “It's much better than the hotel room I'm living in anyway”

“Are you staying far from here?”

“Well, a bit, it's in the city near the studio where we're rehearsing, so a half hour car ride or so from here” explains Joe shortly “If all goes well with the show I may look for a place to stay a bit longer”

“So you are thinking of moving here?” asks John curiously. He seems genuinely interested in Joe, and that makes him blush like a schoolboy, something Joe doesn't really like given his ginger genes make his face look like a ripped tomato.

“If all goes alright and they don't kill off my character, yeah, I'll think of moving here” answers Joe shyly “They will tell me by the end of this month anyway so I'll know then”

It's strange sitting there, in front of one person he thought he's never talk to, telling about his life. But there's something about the way John listens to him that encourages him to keep talking. So Joe starts talking about show he's working on with a smile on his face.

“And what made you take a job that's so far away from home?”

Truthfully, not even Joe knows what made him take the job. He recalls being at his New York home, resting from all the Borhap promotions finally ending when his agent tells him about the show. It's not as if he doesn't have other acting choices, some would say even more interesting than participating in a kind of experimental show at the other side of the ocean. But life makes the strangest turns, Joe believes this more and more, and he ends up talking the job. Maybe it's the plot that Joe find extremely interesting, or the chance to play a character that's unlike any other he's played before, or just the chance of changing his life a bit for once.

“I thought it would be nice to be away from everything for a while. Plus I know the director and I think, and I'm not bragging, that it may be a hit. I don't know if it will be a hit you brits though. It's all very bizarre and american”

“Us brits?” says John smirking “And why is it that you think british people do not enjoy strange things?”

Joe would swear there's a hint of an unspoken innuendo in John's voice. For a moment he doesn't know what to answer and freezes on the spot. It's not as if he doesn't have possible answers to that, a lot of sarcastic and toned up comments pass through his head, but he doesn't know which is the limit for John.

“You're right, Gwil does like freaky stuff and he's as british as he can be” laughs Joe, deciding not to be too direct but let his inner joker out a bit. John seems pleased with the answer as he nods and smiles wider.

“I'm sure of that” chuckles John shaking his head “Do you want something to drink, tea or...? We've been here longer than I expected and it gets cold. I would have turned the heat on if I knew we'd be chatting for so long”

“It is kinda cold” admits Joe. He's only wearing a light jacket and a t-shirt but he hasn't really felt the cold until John mentions it “I think a tea would be nice. I never got around to drinking the one you made before”

“Let's go then, I'll make you the Decon special”

 

 

  
  


They go up to the kitchen and John tells Joe to sit on the kitchen table while he prepares the tea. Joe watches him from his seat, amazed at John and his tea skills, and they chat a bit. It's strangely familiar, talking to John like this, especially because of their rocky start. John seems more open now, and Joe thinks that if it wasn't for that he'd be the awkward little man from the beginning of the afternoon still.

“How are your hands doing?” asks John, putting a warm cup of tea in front of Joe. He takes a sip carefully, trying not to put too much pressure on his damaged hands, but the bandages John's made are good enough to take away some pain when he holds stuff.

“Pretty good actually. Do you do this professionally? I mean, my hands look as pretty as a present wrapped like this” jokes Joe slightly.

The Deacon special turns out to be the most sweet hot tea Joe has ever tasted. He opens his eyes astonished because of the good taste and looks at John speechless.

“This is the best goddamned tea I've had in my entire life”

“Oh, you're too kind. All british people should know how to make great tea” says John while he puts stuff back into its place “The secret is a spoonful of honey, but don't tell Roger, he'll take the credit for it” chuckles, throwing a wink at Joe “And for the bandages, I learned to on tour. A funny story actually”

John sits in front of Joe, with a mug of his own, and starts telling him about his time in Queen. It's not dramatic, and he isn't telling Joe about dates, years or anything like that. They're anecdotes, small things that John remembers, clearly fondly. Joe's already heard some stories John tells, but somehow he feels like this is the first time that he hears them. It's really a precious moment for Joe. For a moment he forgets how he imagined talking with John would be, forgets all of his expectations and worries and just listens to him. They laugh together and when they're finished with their teas they keep talking for a while. John takes some biscuits out and Joe eats nearly all of them.

It's almost dark now, the sunset looking stunningly beautiful from the kitchen window. After another Queen anecdote that leaves them both smiling John goes quiet for a moment. He stands up and takes their mugs to the sink. Joe takes a peek at the time in his phone and gasps surprised.

“It's almost seven!”

“Yes, it looks like it” says John, staring at the clock hanging on a wall “Did I keep you talking for too long?”

“No! Not at all, I had a great time” replies Joe quickly “I just should get going. I have an early rehearsal tomorrow and I should go to bed soon”

“I'll walk you to the door”

This time the phrase doesn't sound like a death sentence for Joe. They exit the kitchen and John opens the main door for and when it's time to say goodbye, Joe finds himself not wanting to go at all.

“I guess this is it” he ends up saying. John nods, but doesn't say anything. He doesn't look like he wants to close the door either so they stand there, awkwardly, staring at each other. Joe begins to turn to go, but he turns back to John before he closes the door completely.

“Before I forget, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean it to sound like that” he says trying to be polite.

“Don't you even worry Joe, it was me who took it too seriously. I shouldn't have made you leave so early” responds John, opening the door again and leaning into the frame.

“Yes but-”

“But nothing. I can be defensive when I don't know people's intentions. I'm not trying to wish you any harm, but I'm glad you fell. If you hadn't I wouldn't have realized my mistake. I told you already, I've had some naty situations with fans before and I mistook the moment”

Joe's left speechless and he can feel his cheeks heating up. John seems to really believe his words and somehow that makes Joe feel warm inside.

“Do you know how to go back to your hotel or-”

“Yes, I parked the car not too far away from here” laughs Joe reacting quickly “I guess I'll get going”

Even though Joe's words, neither of them attempt to move. John opens his mouth but closes it promptly, as if he was about to say something but changed his mind at the last second. Joe finds himself at a similar situation, having a million thoughts through his head but not one good enough to say out loud.

“Will you be able to drive with your...?” ends up saying John, gesturing to Joe's hands “I can-”

“No, I think I'll be fine- sorry were you going to say?...”

“Nevermind. I hope you drive safely” smiles John.

Joe hates himself for interrupting John before he can finish his sentence. Something inside him know what John was about to propose, but it's too surreal. John offering a car ride to a creep who opened his hands raw in his front yard seems just unbelievable.

“It was nice talking with you Joe. You're a good lad”

“Thanks John. You're awesome too” says Joe with a big smile in his face “I am so happy I finally met you”

They stare at each other for a moment and Joe decides to finally turn and leave. He waves his hand at John and starts walking to his car. Now it's completely dark outside and the wind makes him feel chilly. When he's about to leave John's property he turns, half expecting John to be there, still staring at him. He's not, and the only sign of life Joe can see is the light coming through the windows.

Once he's in the car he takes a deep breath, sitting back on the car seat for a second. For some reason he starts giggling that turns into laughing out loud, as hard as he can without being able to stop it. Drying his tears he puts on Queen and starts the car. The entire ride back feels like a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it leave a comment, if you didn't, leave one too.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I cannot love you all more!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, first of all, I apologize for uploading this so late. I've had the worst week ever and I feel like garbage so I didn't write much. I think I will upload once a week now, sorry about that.  
> This chapter is a peek into Joe's life, so it won't be as fun to read as the others, but I appreciate a lot if you read it. I hope you like it.   
> I won't be leaving this fic unfinished so hang in there!

  
  


“ _ You never fucking told me to look at him!” _

“Do it again. From the top. This time just say look. Like in 'you never fucking told me to look'”

Joe sighs and nods to the director. He writes down the changes in his script and adjust his pants one more time, before laying in the floor, waiting for his cue. It's almost lunch time and they've been rehearsing all morning no stop. The studio where they are rehearsing is more like a small hall, with some mirrors hanging from one wall and not a single window on sight.The director sits back on his chair while the staff put the set back together again.

“Are you okay Joe?” he hears his costar whisper at his side. She's laying next to him, script in hand looking at him like he's a freaking alien.

“Yeah, don't worry” he replies as nonchalantly as he can be, shaking his head softly and looking to the ceiling “I'll be fine” mutters, more for himself than for her, but he knows she's heard him when a hand on his shoulder makes him look straight into her wide open eyes.

“You seem distracted” she insists, scrutinizing every inch of his face as if she were to find a clue to his moodiness “Don't you want to twerk it out of your system?”

“Well, I am, Jas. But don't worry about it, really, I'll  _ 'twerk it out' _ later” answers Joe cuttingly, turning to his side and staring at the script trying his best to ignore her.

He's only known Jasmine for less than a month but he doesn't need long to get an idea of what a really nosey person she is. Ever since they met at the studio she's been stuck like gum to him, wanting to know everything about him. It doesn't bother him as much as it normally would though, and he finds himself infected with her curiosity (better said, entangled in her gossip). She's always singing and jumping, and so full of life Joe himself looks like a lifeless corpse besides him at times. But of all the people he's met until now, from the bitter doorman of the rehearsal studio to the angry scotsman that lives next room, Jasmine's been the only one he's wanted to spend genuine time with. She's funny and kinda weird, but nothing Joe's not used to, back in New York he hasn't got a single 'normal' friend if he's being honest. If anything, she reminds him of them, a bizarre british version of his best New York buds.

“You're never going to make me a superstar with that attitude” whines Jasmine besides him, as the drama queen she always is. Usually Joe would laugh, but his mind is in other places as of now.

He sighs and turns his gaze away from Jasmine, looking straight to the ceiling. A single light bulb hangs there, sad and lonely, like Joe himself, he thinks. Filming in Britain for a super production and living in London while rehearsing for an alternative TV series it's a completely different matter. It's not as if he hasn't been in Britain before, most of the Borhap movie, if not all, has been filmed here, but being here alone, without Ben, Gwilym or Rami to cheer him up daily it's, to put it simply, lonely. So achingly lonely he could scream. He doesn't really know anyone apart from Jasmine here and he just can't expect Ben and Gwil to come make him company from the other end of London every single day. They've helped him move of course, picked him up at the airport and all, and the week he spent before starting rehearsals was the most fun he's had since the BoRhrap activities ended. But everything must come to an end (the show must go on, Joe can't help that one slip on his thoughts) and both Ben and Gwil have jobs. At the end of the day it's just like living in New York (minus all his family, friends and knowledge about the city he's living in) he doesn't get to see them. Sometimes he wonders why in the hell he thought this would be a good idea. Joe is a social creature, he truly is, and having to be all alone in a unknown city with practically no one to go to gets under his skin.

He's self absorbed in himself when suddenly the door opens and and a young intern comes through, yelling something Joe cannot even understand. The director stands up and starts talking with the intern, looking more distress with every word he hears. Joe can only look at them from the ground, secretly grateful for some seconds of rest. Jasmine seems too busy with memorizing the lines and the pair keep yelling at the door, so he closes his eyes trying not to focus too much on the noise the two men make. Not surprisingly he finds himself thinking of the only thing he's been able to think all day.

John motherfucking Deacon.

The one and only. And he's left such a strange mood. Sure, it's been less than twenty four hours since they said their goodbyes but the only thing he can think about right now is in how human it all felt. He doesn't know how in the world John let him into his house again, and he doesn't know which God helped him get past his nerves and into a proper fucking conversation with John. Maybe it was the fall that made him lose his awkwardness. He doesn't really know, but cares even less.

He still has the same bandages as yesterday, and he faintly feels John's hands over his, but it's just his mind replaying the moment over and over again. Somehow Joe thinks he would be more ashamed than he is about crying in front of the man that not only he's idolized but played in his biography, but whenever he remembers it he feels a tingle inside his tummy and a voice saying  _ 'John Deacon touched you!'  _ like a prayer.

It's strange, really fucking strange, thinking about it. He got what he spent all filming wanting. He used to think once would be enough. Just once. But the hours pass and he finds himself wanting more.

He sighs and opens his eyes to that single lonely lightbulb once again. Someone closes the door and he hears everyone getting into position again. The director says action before he can close his eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

The morning ends faster than thought it would so he thanks everyone for their time, picks up his bag and gets out of the studio quickly. There's nothing he wants more than to go home (more like his hotel room) and eat lunch. He's walking out of the building when a hand on his shoulders stops him in his tracks.

“Where do you think you're going mister?”

Jasmine is looking like she's out of breath, red face and messed up hair, although that could be because of all the hours they've been locked in the studio.

“Well, I'm going to the hotel and-”

“You promised me to tell me what was wrong!” she says standing up straighter and trying to impose herself, while failing miserably to do so. Joe almost laughs at that, a weak giggle scapes while he tries to remember at which point of the day did he promised Jasmine to tell her about his life.

“I don't think I've promised you that Jas”

“So you admit there's something wrong!” she almost yells, grabbing his hand suddenly and starting to walk to the street.

“The fuck!?-” Joe says surprised, trying to keep up with Jasmine, who is holding onto his wrist like she has her life bet on it.

“I'm taking you to lunch, and you'll tell me what happens!”

Jasmine looks so determined Joe doesn't dare to say a word.

 

* * *

 

 

Five minutes later they end up in an mexican/korean fast food place, something Joe's honestly never tried in his life. Jasmine seems very keen in the place, but he doesn't understand half of the menu. When the waiter comes he just orders whatever was that Jasmine ordered. She looks radiant, truly happy, and Joe is glad she made him eat out with her. Luckily she hasn't really asked more about his noticeable melancholy so he's been able to enjoy the moment, at least for now. It's comforting having someone to joke with like he used to have in the states.

“And how've you been feeling London so far?” Jasmine asks just as Joe is about to bite into his strange korean burrito.

“Well, it's all very new” he says before biting fearfully into the burrito. Jasmine looks at him amused.

“Was that good?” she asks giggling. Joe nods, surprising himself. He honesty thought it would taste horribly, but it's amazingly good.

“You like trying new things, huh” she says mischievously “Is that why you moved here?”

The question throws Joe off and he has to think about it for some time. He bites into the burrito again while Jasmine looks at him expectantly waiting for an answer.

“I moved here for the burritos obviously” he answers still chewing the food. Jasmine nudges him in the arm and pouts.

“Be serious for once Joe!”

“I am!” Joe laughs “This shit it's amazing. Wanna order some more?”

Jasmine laughs too and shakes her head, eating her burrito too. Joe steals some fries from her and calls the waiter while studying the menu intensely. So far this has been the best moment of the day for Joe, so he relaxes and jokes some more waiting for his food, hoping Jasmine will be kind enough to let him enjoy the moment. When the food arrives they are entangled in a deep discussion about the other cast members, gossiping shamelessly.

“Did you meet Gerard? He's playing the pianist your characters revives in the second chapter” she tells him “I met him at the academy, you'll like him”

“I don't know if he will like  _ me  _ though” jokes Joe, half seriously “Everyone here treats me like I'm an alien”

“That's because you are a star now! Everyone knows you” Jasmine yells excitedly

“That doesn't really help Jas...” Joe mutters, suddenly thinking about it. Usually he's not nervous meeting new people, but these days he seems to be as insecure as he was in second grade. He tries to be as approachable as he can to the staff the crew and in general to everyone, but nothing he does can erase  _ Joe Mazzello, the guy who play John Deacon  _ from people's minds. All the conversations he's had so far involve either, Queen, Brian May or Roger Taylor. He doesn't mind talking about them at all, but it looks like people only really care about that and it feels so fucking weird...

“I don't care you're a star Joe, star or not you're amazing!” Jasmile smiles.

“Too bad you're not one” he says smirking. Jasmine raises her eyebrows as far as they'll go and makes a ridiculous expression that has Joe cackling.

“How dare you assume I am not one?!” she bawls, truly offended and raising from the chair she's been sitting on. When she sees Joe giggling she frowns and sits back.

“I think you're amazing too Jas, don't be mad” Joe says as soon as he stops laughing. She rolls her eyes while Joe dries the tears that appear in the corner of his eyes.

“How did you know about this place? I'm honestly impressed” he asks when he finishes. He almost wants to unbutton his jeans from all the things he's eaten. Joe finds the restaurant a truly blessing in disguise, there's not a single thing they've ordered that displeases him.

“An ex boyfriend worked here” she says, still eating more. Joe would think someone as skinny and fit like her would restrain a tad more her meals, but she doesn't look half full “Do you have a girl back home?” she asks smirking and suddenly a lot more interested in him than in the food she's eating.

“I don't really swing that way” he says as calm as he can be. He knows she won't really have a problem with that, but to this day it's kind of difficult just saying it outloud.

Jasmine doesn't bat an eye to Joe's confession and keeps insisting “So a boyfriend?”

“Nope” he answers, pursing his lips “I'm a free soul”

“Just like me then” she smiles and keeps eating.

Joe's about to answer when his phone rings. For a moment he thinks of hanging up the call, since the number is unknown and he really wants to spend more time laughing with Jasmine, but he answers anyway, thinking it could be a potentially serious call.

“Hello?”

His heart skips a beat when he hears that voice again, a voice he thought he'd never hear again.

“John?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this, comments really help me writing, I'll try to upload as soon as I can!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention at the beginning of the fic that the title is a George Micheal song, Father Figure. I think it's a very deazzello song, you'll like it, the lyrics are awesome, especially for the whole ship.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

“Hello?”

“ _ Hi, I'm John. Brian gave me your number” _

When he answers the call he's not sure what to make of it, but the moment he hears that voice an unsettling confusion finds its way into Joe's mind again.

“John?”

“ _ Deacon” _

“Oh yeah I know, I'm just surprised. What's up?” Joe cringes internally at his choice of words but he's too shocked to care. He can hear John laughing softly and that makes him even more nervous. His face must be a poem, since he's captured Jasmine undivided attention, who has now put her fork down and stares shamelessly to him.

“ _ You left the album at my house” _

“The... album?” Joe can barely answer, his head's still rounding the idea that John's calling him right here and right now, and the only voice that comes out of him is so thin he's amazed John's heard him at all. Jasmine raises an eyebrow at him, curious.

“ _ Yes, the one I signed, you left it in the basement, in between the pillows of the couch, it must have fallen off you. I found it this morning when I was cleaning up a bit” _

“Oh, yeah, yeah!” he says, more to himself than anything, memories coming to him like a waterfall . There's an awkward pause, no more than ten seconds in which Joe honestly doesn't know what comes next. He stays quiet and waits for John to talk, not wanting to ruin whatever intentions John had when he called.

“ _ I...Do you still want it?” _

“Yes! Yes. Of course. I mean, if you still want to give it” he jokes. There's a chuckle from the other line and Joe's can't help but smile.

“ _ I wouldn't have called if that were the case Joe” _

“I guess you're right”

“ _ Are you doing something right now?” _

Joe looks at Jasmine. He had forgotten she was even at the table, but she's still there, looking at him intensely, clearly interested in his conversation. He lowers his voice a little and almost whispers, a bit embarrassed by the scrutinized stare Jasmine gives him.

“I'm still at rehearsals” he lies. He doesn't really know why he says that, and he kinda regrets the moment it leaves his mouth, but it's too late to undo the lie. Jasmine looks even more interested, now and Joe feels mortified inside.

“ _ Are you? Brian told me you'd probably be free by now, if I knew I wouldn't have interrupted-” _

“No, no, it just got a bit longer, it'll be over soon. I'm on a break right now.” Jasmine snorts when she hears the blunt lie Joe's telling and Joe sinks in his seat a little, trying to be as subtle as possible “Why?” he asks, the question he should have asked right from the start, before lying.

“ _ I just thought I could bring you the CD. You said your apartment is half an hour from my house, but I could go over to the studio whenever you finish if that's more suitable for you” _

“Oh, no, if that's too much trouble for you I can come over after this”

“ _ Nonsense, you must be tired. I am not doing anything really, it's no trouble at all. I just need the address and an hour” _

“I'll text you the address. And I don't know when we'll finish, maybe at-”

“We'll be finished by four Joe” Jasmine cuts him, talking as loud as she can, clearly wanting the person Joe's talking with to hear her.

“ _ Who was that?” _

“Oh, a castmate, don't mind her” he answers quickly Joe, giving Jasmine a death glare.

“ _ So it's alright if I come over at a quarter past four?” _

“That's awesome”

“ _ Great. I'll see you later” _

John hangs up before Joe can say goodbye. Quietly he texts the address to the number and saves the contact carefully, his heart beating inexplicably. He still can't believe what's happened and when he looks up Jasmine is staring intensely at him, clearly waiting for him to explain the call.

“So... At rehearsals, huh?” she ends up saying when it's clear Joe won't talk.

“Do you want to ask the waiter for the bill?” he asks clearing his throat, trying to pretend the call never happened.

“Who in the bloody hell was that?” she asks ignoring him completely

“No one” he says, looking at everything except at her “You wanna have dessert then?” he asks trying to change the subject subtly, looking at the menu like it's the most interesting thing on the planet “Look, they have cheesecake”

“You're full of bullshit” she says “This is the first time I've heard you lie to someone”

“I don't know why I did that, okay?” he replies trying to defend himself “It was just a friend”

“I'm sorry honey, but that didn't sound like just a friend” Jasmine says licking her lips “You look pretty shaken up. Did something happened?”

Joe doesn't know what to do. One part of him wants desperately to tell Jasmine about John and just go off on how excited he is, but another part of him just wants to crawl in a hole and come out when the world ends.

“No! Nothing happened” he ends up saying, covering his face with the menu. Jasmine takes it off and makes him look at her in the eyes.

“Does this have to do with how distracted you looked at rehearsals?”

Joe looks away and sighs. Jasmine returns him the menu but he puts it down on the table.

“Maybe” he says defeated.

“Do you really don't want to talk about it?”

Joe looks away and thinks about it for a moment. He can feel his chest just wanting him to let it all out, but it feels a bit wrong. Maybe if it was Rami, Ben or Gwil he would tell them. Hell, there wasn't really much to hide. He had just met his idol, and found out he'd be seeing him again. And with them there's not even a chance of the media finding out. John surely doesn't want the attention, Joe thinks.

Jasmine looks at him like she's trying to figure him out, playing with her fork not even looking what she's doing. Joe feels bad for a second. Jasmine's only triying to cheer him up. She has been all day, really, not leaving him alone during the breaks. He's only starting to know Jasmine's friends on set but he's glad she tries to include him whenever she cans.

“It's just some one I've looked up a lot” he says carefully “And I met him yesterday. It was... awesome”

There's so much he wants to say, incredible, magic, something out of a dream. He wants to yell into a pillow and kick his legs in the air. He feels electricity in the tip of his fingers and that's something he hasn't felt in a while. He resigns to moving his right knee up and down as quietly as he cans.

“Christ, and it was him right now?” Jasmine gasps, now more interested than ever. Joe just nods and watches her eyebrows go up. In her eyes Joe can see she's ´trying to guess who is the mystery man, he can tell she's dying to ask for a name but he won't even think of mentioning John's name. God knows he doesn't want people telling around stories about him.

“Why does he want to see you again?” she asks instead.

“I left something at his place” he answers, as innocently as possible and trying to not make a big thing about the whole thing.

“Did you do it on purpose?” she then says, raising her eyebrows a lot and taking a long sip of her soda.

“Jesus, no. Who do you think I am?” he responds quickly, cringing at the thought of it “I'm just glad he let me spend his evening with him”

“Oh, you are just too cute mister” says Jasmine pinching his cheeks from across the table. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes for what must have been the fourth time since John hung up “You must be fangirling so hard right now”

He rolls his eyes once again but now Joe thinks Jasmine may be actually be right. He cannot stop himself from checking the time every damn second and in his head he can't stop picturing all the things that could happen in the studio (assuming something else apart from getting his album back will happen of course), and that's got Joe pretty shaken up.

“You lied now though” she points out bluntly. Joe feels shame creep up his body and he wants the earth to shallow him. He knows John will probably never find out about the lie, and even if he does it's not likely to make him angry. Joe would just explain he was nervous and they'd share some laughs. At least that's what the racional part of his mind wants him to thinks. There's a lot other possibilities that come crashing into his thoughts and drown that racional voice too.

“I didn't mean to” he says, as honestly as possible “I panicked and it just came out”

“Mhm”

She doesn't look too convinced, Joe thinks. He looks at the time again at his phone under the table and sighs.

“How much time is left?” she asks leaning back in her chair and looking thoughtful.

The questions gets Joe by surprise, so he checks again and clears his throat before speaking.

“Almost twenty minutes”

They go silent for a moment and it almost becomes awkward if it wasn't because Joe knows Jasmine is up for something.

“I suppose I can't come with you, right?” she asks, more to herself than anything.

“M' sorry, but I would rather you wouldn't” he answers anyway.

She nods slowly and leans forward again, resting her elbows at the table.

“Is he cute?”

Joe almost chokes on the air. His cheeks go red and he raises his eyebrows comically. A sense of prudishness he didn't know he had comes out and all the thoughts about John he's been having cancel instantly.

“No!” he says, almost too quickly, and Jasmine laughs hysterically “I mean, no. He's okay. I- that doesn't really matter!”

“Oh, so he's okay” Jasmine teases, trying to stop laughing “Do you think you have a chance with him?”

“I- no? I can't even think of that Jas, you don't even know who you're talking about”

“Well, you won't tell me”

“No, I won't” he states proudly. The table goes quiet again and Joe takes the opportunity to eat some fries that he hasn't eaten yet. The whole thing has made him forget about his stomach, but the moment the fries enter his mouth he regrets it. He's still too full to do anything.

“What time is it now?”

“Almost four” he says, not even having to look at the phone this time.

“Do you want to take some photos while you wait?” she says, wiping out her phone.

Joe nods, glad to finally hear something different and scoots over for Jasmine to sit besides him. Her phone screen is clean, almost too clean since Joe can see all the defects his face has of right now.

“Oh my god, I look like a troll” he says, snatching her phone from her hand and looking at himself trying to get his hair to settle “Give me a napkin”

He wipes his mouth with it and even tries to clean his teeth as much as he can. The worst part is his stubble, though. If he knew John was going to call he would have shaven.

“You're just fine Joe, I'm sure he will find you lovely” she laughs and Joe shoves her playfully in the arm “Give me the phone” he gives it and she starts taking photos of them.

“I told you it's not like that” she ignores him and keeps taking photos “I look bloated don't I?” he says, putting a hand on his stomach and sighing.

“You're crazy” she says and rolls her eyes “You're fine. It's me who shouldn't have eaten so much. I look like a bloody elephant”

“Oh, you don't” She really doesn't. And maybe Joe is a bit jealous of right now, since his pants are barely holding together.

“I don't really mind though. The guy I'm seeing later likes a full tummy” she says proudly

“I don't have words for how weird you just were. And I repeat, you're a stick”

“Wanna see a photo of him?” she asks, moving her eyebrows up and down and already opening instagram on her phone “He's really cute”

She shows him the photo and Joe has to admit, he's cute. They end up talking about the guy for some minutes, Jasmine showing him photos of him and telling him about all the weird things they've done together (which are _a_ _lot_ ).

“I'm going to introduce him to you one of these days, he has some friends, maybe he can pair you up with someone”

“That'd be nice of him” he says, not really convinced. For some reason hooking up with someone is not his main priority now. He's still to busy thinking of what to say to John once he arrives at the studio.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this would be a more John/Joe chapter, but I think this scene was needed! I swear you'll see John/Joe A LOT in the next chapters!
> 
> Comments help me write!! If you have critiques feel free to comment too, I like feedback.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for not uploading sooner. Here it is, finally John/Joe again. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing. See you! thanks for the support

The time comes for them to pay and for Joe to go back to the studio. It's almost four and even if Jasmine insists that leaving at ten past four will be fine, Joe wants to be there earlier. He doesn't trust himself with these things, so he makes sure they pay at four o'clock. Joe takes out his money with shaky hands and he would be embarrassed if it wasn't for the knowing look of Jasmine. The waiter looks at him weirdly, though Joe thinks it may be because they've been sitting at the same table for more than two hours. She takes the money from Joe and hands it to the waiter along with hers.

They get out and it's unsurprisingly cloudy again. Joe stands nervously waiting for Jasmine to find her headphones inside her bag so he can say goodbye and return as fast as he can to the studio, to John.

“Oh my god, yes, I'm hurrying” she whines when she sees Joe staring at her impatiently, but doesn't seem to look for the headphones any faster.

“No, take your time” he says, checking the hour again “I'll just embarrassed myself”

“Joe, you're less than five minutes away from the studio, stop complaining” she finally gets the headphones out “I'll see you tomorrow Joe, have fun!”

She tip toes on her feet to kiss him on his cheek (as spanish people do, her words not his), and it's not like Joe's that tall, but she's so damn petite he thinks she might actually be a smurf. If only Jas could hear his thought he knows she would hit him with his purse.

After finally saying goodbye to Jasmine Joe is in his way to John. Even if the day's gone cloudy, somehow feeling the wind on his face makes him feel positive (at least more than he did at the restaurant). He is honestly excited about meeting John again. And maybe this is a good sign. If John wants to personally return the album, Joe's done something right. It feels nice to have John Deacon show interest in you, Joe thinks. The whole walk to the studio seems eternal and he nearly trips over people at least two times. He tries not to run but his feet just seem to take off the ground and start running, even people are not too happy about it. It's almost as if running is fun (something Joe's never really thought before), but his heart beats so excitedly he cannot stop himself from it.

As he thought the building is almost empty when he enters. He says hi to the janitor and sits on a bench at the entrance. For a moment he just sits there, feeling his cheeks hot from the 'run' and his breath is almost returning by now. He checks his phone again. It's seven past four. In the back of his head he can hear Jasmine telling him he didn't have to worry, but he doesn't really care he's early. He would rather wait than make John wait.

The minutes pass and he starts to get anxious. The feeling of pure joy he had while running all the way from the dinner vanish slowly and he feels his confidence flattering. All of these stupid thoughts Joe shouldn't be having pop up again suddenly, making him question his whole existence. He doesn't really know why he feels this way, but he can't find reassurance inside himself. All of his mind is messed up, and he doesn't think he's ever been this nervous. He opens the phone, trying to distract himself from his own mind, but two seconds scrolling aimlessly through instagram and his eyes deviate to the top of the screen again, checking the hour once more. He sighs and locks it. There's no way in hell he will be calmer if he's looking at the time every damned minute.

The crazy part about this whole thing is that Joe doesn't actually know why he's freaking out so much, why he's sitting there watching the janitor mop the floor while tapping his foot almost violently into the floor. There is absolutely no reason for him to be this nervous. The first time? Sure. He's allowed to be nervous the first time. But he's already met John. And yes, he fucked up the first half hour, but Joe thinks it all went alright. Hell, John showed him his bass (and he managed to not scream hysterically!).

He wants to shut off all the bad feelings and convince himself that it's normal to be nervous. John Deacon was, after all, an idol of his. Is. Was. And that's the problem right there, a voice tells him, who is John for him after meeting him? He shuts up that voice as fast as he cans.

When he checks the time  _ again  _ he isn't really surprised John hasn't arrived yet. It's a quarter past four already and it doesn't look he's coming any time soon. Joe sighs and makes himself more comfortable in his seat. Maybe John won't come at all. Maybe this is all a sick joke that-

Joe knows that these thoughts are bullshit. Still, they feel so real it's scary.

Before he can beat himself further with nonsense he notices John (John Deacon!) coming through the glass doors of the building with a paper bag in his hang. Joe stands up as fast as he cans and waves his hand at John, like an idiot. John waves back anyway, but it doesn't look dumb at all. Truth be told, Joe's heart flutter a bit when he sees John raising his hand and waving at  _ him.  _ He actually looks keen to meet him, and that's something Joe can't process right now. He grabs his bag and walks to John, who's waiting at the door, looking around. When he gets to John he takes his sunglasses off and gives him a warm smile.

“Hello again Joe” greets him kindly offering his hand to him.

“Hey” he can only say, taking John's hand with a half smile that creeps out weirdly. It feels different than the last time, the grip isn't unfamiliar now but it's still as perfect as yesterday.

“Sorry I'm late, I had to find a spot to park”

“Yeah it's difficult around here, that's why I always come walking” he explains with a chuckle “Damned traffic made me late for the firsts rehearsals”

John laughs and shakes his head slowly. Joe can't help but notice how good he looks with his cool dark sunglasses sitting on the top of his head and his black leather shoes. He won't be doing the same mistake again of saying these thoughts out loud, but still John looks exactly how a man should look (in Joe's opinion at least).

“Here you go” he hands Joe the paper bag half smiling “I hope this time you take it home”

“Thank you so much” Joe says “Sorry for making you come all the way here”

“It wasn't problem it was good for me to get some fresh air” John says “I thought you'd like to have it back”

“I really do. I can't believe I got  _ A day at the races  _ signed by John Deacon himself!” Joe blurts out without thinking. John laughs so he feels his confidence rising again.

“If you ask Brian and Roger I'm sure they'll sign it too”

“Yeah, that'd be cool” he says half-heartedly.

Joe isn't sure why, but he doesn't really mean it. It's great of course having Roger and Brian signing him an album, but it'd feel wrong to ask them to sign this particular album. He figures he's selfish, but he wants to keep it like John gave it. Just holding the bag makes him feel special somehow. The fact that John came all the way here and doesn't even looked annoyed by Joe's nonsense makes his admiration for the man grow bigger.

They stare at each other for a small moment, kinda like they did yesterday when they said their goodbyes. Joe's wondered if he imagined what he felt then, but now that he's standing staring at John and having John stare him back the same sensation gets through him. It's strange being like this, he doesn't feel awkward, at least not as awkward as yesterday, and the way John looks at him doesn't make him uncomfortable at all. Still, he puts his hands on his pockets, not knowing what to do with them. John has his arms crossed and one hand on his chin, like he's thinking deep thoughts, the kind of thoughts Joe doesn't think he'd understand.

“So” John clears his throat and looks around “You rehearse here?” he gestures around the lobby with his free hand and Joe can't be happier.

He kind of expected for John to hand him the album and leave immediately, but the question revives the hopes he had for them to spend some more time together.

“No, we use the studio at the end of the hall” he says pointing at the door that can barely be seen “Wanna see?”

Joe thinks it might have been too fast of him to ask so suddenly judging by the look of surprise on John face. He's rehearsed this scenario a lot of times on his head while waiting (he's rehearsed the best and the worst if he's being honest) but he might have blurted out the question too quickly.

“I'd love too” John says looking back “But I don't think it's a good idea to disturb people working”

Joe's face falls a little but he still smiles at John “Oh there's no one here anymore” he chooses to say, now measuring his words carefully “We've wrapped up a bit earlier today” he hates how he has to lie again and regrets telling it so he changes the subject quickly “I understand if you have to go”

“Oh, so we're alone?” asks John making a face Joe can't quite decipher. He nods and is about to hit himself mentally when John smiles. “I don't have anywhere to be. Lead the way”

Joe lights up and begins to walk happily. He can feel John following closely. It's a short walk and when they get there Joe pulls out his spare key to the studio, fiddling with the lock.

“They gave you a key?” asks John curiously.

“Yeah, sometimes we come here and practice by ourselves” he answers and opens the door.

The studio is exactly the same as this morning, all the chairs piled up in a corner and dim light coming through the narrow windows on the top of the walls. John follows him in and walks around scanning the room with his eyes. He's got his hands in his pockets now, and Joe stares at his back until he realizes there's are mirrors on the left side of the room. He tears apart his eyes from John and leans back on the wall, hoping he hasn't noticed Joe staring. He's still looking around, and if Joe's being honest he doesn't know what is making John stare so deeply at the room, as if he can't get enough of the place.

“It's small, I know” he comments breaking the silence “much smaller than where we were rehearsing for BoRhap at least”

“Must be a big change” says John chuckling and turning to Joe “Lovely though, it reminds me of the place where we used to practice”

“With Queen?” asks Joe, surprised. It's obvious John means Queen, but he still blurts out the question.

“Yes. It was as small as this, maybe even smaller” explain John softly “But we were nothing back then” Joe laughs and shakes his head at the prospect of a time where Queen wasn't a thing.

“What a sad time, when people didn't listen to Queen yet” he comments and John snorted, amused.

“We didn't know people wanted to listen to Queen then” says John smiling “I couldn't have imagined all what was going to happen”

He cannot even think how it must been like for John then. And it's scary, because Joe's been studying him for at least two years, and has been a die-hard Queen fan since much longer. But right now, the way he talks about it and the way he moves in person makes him feel like he doesn't actually know anything about him.

“You're not any actor though” points out John, turning his eyes to Joe “I bet you could get much bigger roles now”

Joe knows John doesn't mean anything by that, and that malice isn't even remotely close in his intentions, but still something stirs inside him. He's heard that too many times before, and though John asking what everybody wants to know is okay by him it does make him think of all the things he had to hear when he announced he was moving to London.

“I didn't mean to-” John starts saying, probably when he notices Joe's face falling a bit, but he quickly cuts him off.

“No, it's true” he tries to laugh off Joe “It's not another BoRhap for sure”

John doesn't say anything and it's weird as fuck to Joe because it almost feels like he's encouraging him to keep talking.

“I like it though. Feels smaller and it's nice. Will be a shitty production if we screw up but I don't think that's going to happen. The story is good”

“Oh yeah? What's it about?”

“It's sort of a sci-fi series where the main character is a time traveller who arrives to the modern world coming from the XVII century. I gotta be this charming noble from the french court-”

“You know how to speak french?” asks John surprised. Joe giggles and shakes his head.

“No, the character is an englishman who married to a french woman. It's weird as hell, and that's the simplest way I can describe his background”

“Sounds like a piece of work” chuckles John “I don't have a very complicated background, I think”

“Oh but you do” corrects him Joe “It wasn't easy to be you. Plus, I worried a lot that it wouldn't be believable to the ones that know you personally. Ben and Gwil had Queen. I have to say sometimes I felt lost”

“Oh”

“That in the beginning of course. Now I think it's a pretty good performance” states as proudly as he can Joe.

“You could've used my help” says John thoughtfully.

“Well, yes, but it was alright. I had Brian and Roger to help me. And I met Luke. I understand why you didn't want to be in such a big production”

“Is that why you want to do smaller things now?” questions John innocently.

“It's not that I didn't enjoy making BoRhap” he says carefully and John nods wanting him to continue “It was awesome, but I don't know if I want to...” Joe can't find the words and suddenly he feels a knot on his throat getting tighter and tighter.

“Well, you've already been in two big movies that I know of” says John “I can't imagine what's like being in the acting business since such an early age”

“You know about Jurassic Park?” he asks raising his eyebrows as far as they will go.

“Luke told me about that” chuckles John “We watched it some time ago and he would say you played me every time you appeared on screen. Makes me think he only wanted to watch it because of you”

“Of course, I have a beautiful face” says Joe, holding his chin gracefully and raising an eyebrow. It probably looks funny judging by the smile on John's face, but it makes him feel somewhat confident.

“You do” he replies turning his eyes from Joe as he straightens the sleeves of his suit, throwing him off suddenly. Before he has the chance to speak John changes the subject “But you were a child back then”

“I was like nine” he says, still a bit dumbfounded by John's words. He feels his whole face heating up

“That's really young”

“It is”

The room goes quiet suddenly, and Joe doesn't know what else to say. It doesn't look like John wants him to say anything in particular, and oddly the silence isn't as awkward as the last times. Joe fiddles with his pockets and looks at John every now and then, when he's sure John isn't looking at him. John is looking at the end of the room, almost as if he's thinking of something entirely different of Joe being a child actor. It's okay, Joe thinks. John must have a lot of things going on, at least enough for Joe not to be a priority in his list of worries.

“Is there something wrong?” he asks when John sighs.

John looks at him again and shakes his head, smiling “No, I'm just hungry. I haven't eaten yet” says, almost like he's calculated those words milimetrically. Joe smiles back and John looks at his watch.

“Have you?” asks John softly, looking at everything else but Joe.

“Have I what?”

“Eaten”

Joe isn't sure what is behind the question and just thinking about the implications makes him nervous. John doesn't seen too bothered, and is even looking at him now, waiting for his answer.

“Not really” lies Joe again before he can think properly. He figures it's not a complete lie, but it still feels weird lying again. He's almost sure he regrets it when John asks again.

“Would you like getting something to eat?”

He's sure now that a lie now and then can't hurt nobody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: How did you start shipping deazzello? 
> 
> Oh, and do you have a song that reminds you of them? I'm looking for music and lately a lot of songs makes me think of them. 
> 
> Have a good week!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments if you liked it, hate comments are also welcomed. Working on the next chapter!


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